Thursday, January 10, 2008

Blackbird- Fly

click to enlarge photo
We went up to the Seattle Museum of Flight last weekend. I was glad to see that the kids enjoyed it as much as I did. The special feature - The Blackbird - also know as the A-12.
The plane was a virtual failure. All the Blackbirds have crashed or now sit in museums today. However, The Blackbird helped to spawn a new era of leaders in the sky - the Stealth...

I have felt a bit like the Blackbird lately. A high flying accident waiting to happen. All of life's expectations, designs, goals, targets and energies... waiting for a culmination of success - then...? Crash or sit in a museum...

Having been a teacher for the last 18 years - I feel like I'm ready for a new design, a new flight plan. So, I made application to a TOSA (Teacher on Special Assignment) position this year. It has been an exceptional opportunity and I have learned lots about 'school-improvement.'

One question that I can't escape - "are you in training to be a principal?" I must have had a dozen different answers to that question. Ultimately, the answer always came back to the simple fact that I can't trust myself to do the job. Or maybe, I just have such lame faith. I lack the trust that my God has taken me this far and will not leave me. Is God big enough? Yes. Am I good enough? No. So, how do you bring those statements together? Leap! Fly the nest! So, I decided (not confidently), to enter a Masters Program for my Administrative license. Am I cut for that kind of job?

Paul sang "blackbird sings in the middle of the night. Take these broken wings and fly... all your life... You were only waiting for this moment to arrive."click to enlarge photo.
This is an enhanced photo of part of one of the two engines for the Blackbird. I look at the gold, aluminum and titanium tubing and all the ins and outs. Complicated mess. My lack of confidence in my ability to pull this admin thing off - reminds me of this tangled mess. Too many ins and outs.

My prayer - "take this broken wing - help me fly."