Sunday, May 14, 2006

Sunday Scrib

What Makes Mom Cry?

Yes, I am a momma's-boy. Yes, I know it's Mother's Day.

Few events in my life have escaped their impact without tears. That is to say, the really big stuff- are teary. Yes, I cry. I learned this from my mom.

I can first remember moms' tears as she was listening (while ironning) to her brand new concert albums - collections of symphonic masterpieces. It must have been Mozart. The tears were not joy or sadness. The tears were just a welling up of emotive energy. I cry when I hear a song at just the right time, too.

Later, I recall a certain event on the black and white TV (13 inch screen). Everyone was dressed in black and a little boy was holding an folded up American flag. "Mom, why does that little boy get a flag?" No answer, just tears (from behind the ironning board).

Also, Robert and Martin. Funerals and tears. I learned to cry.

Now, I'm married to a crier. She cries when she is happy and when sad. She watches movies and cries. She wants to watch movies just so she can cry. She avoids other movies because "I know it will make me cry." Mystery.

What I do know, I need her tears. My stupid emotional disconnectness - needs to see her tears. As she cries, I see the path of her heart and hear the voice of the almighty.

There is peace when she cries. It is like a holy momment, sacred and beautiful. I wish she would let me closer to her tears. She likes to hide in the darkness of the theater or behind tissues when she cries.

Maybe a book about her tears is too personal. A more clinical approach (with excerpts from some chick named Judith), now that may work. What about a DIY approach - yes, Do It Yourself -the home crying manual for idiots - a book for men to get in touch with the tears of the women they love. Or , maybe a book that seeks the history of tears in literature.

It will never happen - or maybe it's already written... Either way, I'll never write it. I'll just keep it all to myself. Mums the word.


Pilgrimage to Self said...

This is so moving Brad. I have only seen my husband cry once in the 15 years that I have known him, and I have never felt as close to him since as I did that day. I like a man who is not afraid to cry.

And just an aside, i keep two blogs but as you don't allow anonymous comments, I am forced to use my other blog name to leave this comment. So please find me at (you already have actually)

I also loved your post (My Shoes) last week as well. I found it a strange but beautiful tale.

brittany said...

This is hilarious and brilliant. I love it! It would solve so many mysteries for so many men.

AscenderRisesAbove said...

The Big Book of Tears... I like it.

boliyou said...

great imagery here, and wonderful ideas. Nice post.

Jennifer said...

Do you think men will ever "get" women and their tears? Well, I don't think my man will anyway LOL

Alexandra S said...

I think our tears are as important and beautiful as our laughter. And you express this so well here. I wish more men felt comfortable with their own tears. This whole idea that "boys don't cry" is such a bunch of harmful garbage. WHat a good husband you are to appreciate and honor tears in the women of your life.

HoBess said...

What a beautiful piece about the women in your life. I admire the fact that you can say you've learned from them. And while I'm lucky enough to have married someone who doesn't need it, I know a lot of women who wouldn't mind their husbands having a copy of this book in your head.