Classroom Quotes 1,2,3.

1. In the middle of an intense moment of mathematic instruction, she blurts. "Mr. G. Guess what? My sister is going on a field trip today for science."
Oh, really?
"Yah. She gets to go and see a real, live, kabober!"
Silence.
"Uh, what's a kabober?"
"Well, I don't really know. Do you know, Mr. G?"
I wasn't sure how to respond. But suddenly, the teacher tools that allow any instructor to decode even the sloppiest hand-writing took over. "Ohhh. You mean cadaver."
She looked a little embarrassed and still didn't know what that meant.
"Well, Connie, a cadaver is the preserved body of a human being, usually for the purpose of science, health and study.
"Oh."
Silence. Then, whispering to her classmate, Connie stated, "I hope we don't go on any field trips like that."
Real, live, field trips...

2. The next day, students were learning about Cell Theory. One of the postulates states that all cells have a nucleus. We then studied the types of nuclei. For these 6th graders, I decided to focus on the way each type of cell has different way of organizing the nucleus. Only briefly did I mention the vocabulary - 'pro' and 'eu' karyotes as the names for these organizational structures.

Nick raised his hand. I called on him. He asked if the prokaryotes were hold-outs from evolutionary adaptations. We talked about the scientific method and the need to observe and repeat experiments to say with certainty. He pushed for more. I responded by mentioning that "each species of prokaryote (like some cyanobacteria) are simple celled organisms and have a specific DNA that make them unique species. There, the eukaryotes could not have evolved (from pro), because they are altogether unique with their own DNA (not found) in any other organism."
Nick was on overload - even for a great thinker and TAG kid.
I asked if I could move on. He nodded.
Before I could get the next example of an organized nuclei drawn on the board, Nick sighed deeply and gushed.
"So, all that crap on every Discovery Channel is wrong. Evolution is only theory, not fact."
I was very proud at that very moment.

3. Sometimes, even the most carefully planned lessons can take a dive. Today, I used a tested and proven interactive lesson. It's called "Mayan Marketplace." The purpose of the activity (simulation), is to demonstrate the skills, products and trading practices of the Pre-Columbian cultures. As students start to trade their wares (cards of: obsidian, corn, beans, feathers, dried fish etc.), the canned lesson calls for various 'fates' to befall. For example: "the Yucatan has just been hit by a hurricane, every peasant must now surrender one maize card, that was destroyed in the storm."
The students were loving it and most of them had it figured out in a matter of ten minutes. So, I decided to take their prior learning and insert more 'fate.' I stopped all trading and had all peasant count their 'cards' and the peasants that earned less by trading than the others had to surrender all their cards and become subservient to another peasant. Some of the students look so defeated. "That's not fair. Why do I have to give them to someone who already has more?"
It was at this point, that I knew I had to drive the point home. So, after about 3 minutes and another good 'fate' card, I dropped the gauntlet. I asked all the student 'traders' to listen the the words of the holy halach uinic on behalf of the great Huitzilopitchli.
"Today, there needed to be a sacrifice. One of the two slaves will be sacrificed. Only the slave that had not fulfilled their duty as a Mayan slave would be given." So I brought both slaves up to the front. I asked their masters if they had done a good job. They both shrugged. So, I gathered all their cards and counted them. The master with the least amount would be the one to lose their slave. The slave was Anna. She is the 'most popular' cutie pie at school. She's a mall brat and has all the little 6th grade boys on a leash.
I told her to go to the front of the class. The girl students started chanting - "SAC RI FICE....." The boys surprised me. They stood silent and looked on in horror.
I grabbed the yard stick and raised it above my head. I must have really picked the right kid, because she stood there bravely as though she knew what I was up to...
I paused just before plunging the imaginary obsidian knife through her imaginary heart... "Wait, slave girl, can you read and write?"
"Why, but of course, holy and divine halach uinic. Certainly I can."
"Prove yourself." She directed her eyes to the white board and read out loud, the words to the Pledge of Allegiance.
"You are literate. You have been saved." Cheers from the class.

The class discussion was alive and humid with the indignation of the bourgeoisie.
Lesson saved. Fate.
I love my job.